I learnt something today. I embarrass myself way to often, say idiotic things and act as the 'victim'. Today after days, weeks, of being on tenter hooks I slipped into being comfortable again and it was nice. A voicemail which made me smile, being stuck up for on twitter but then I did what I do best, stopped thinking. I went too far resulting in embarrassing myself.
When you're in a limbo how do you identify the norms of how to act when nothing is certain. Whether when you see that person you'll be able to hold them like you used to or you have to sit and talk things through like emotionless robots. When do you stop believing in promises previously made. When do you stop acting the way you always have done with a person.
I don't know.
Neither do you.
This situation sucks, even more than it did 2 hours ago. I am too negative, I'm the first too admit that, but if you're positive all the time you're more likely to be disappointed. Isn't it easier to be negative about something you care so much about, than build up hopes to have them crushed?
Shit.
