After almost 6 weeks of not seeing the boy and my family, I am home. My family are amazing and have always supported me in everything I do. Friday I moved out of Murley Road after 2 months of constant misery and hassle that I wouldnt wish upon anyone. It got to the point where it was just one off things that would make me feel horrible but I realised that if I let these one off things just keep happening I would gradually feel worse.Charlie opened my eyes and made me realise that I needed to make a decision, because without making that decision about Murley Road how was I meant to make any other important decisions.
So with the help of my amzing mum and dad I moved out and they didn't even notice :D I'm now closer to Gemma and hopefully living with much nicer people.
One of the best things about being home is the FOOD! Finally not having to cook it myself and what I am eating actually being decent and not an oven meal or chips. Yesterday had my favourite, beef roast. Then my evening was made a whole lot better with the news that Charlie was home :)
Just the feeling of when he first hugged me makes me smile now. It is hard not seeing someone for a while but it makes the time you have with them seem a lot more precious and special. He gets me like no one else and there is no one else I would rather wake up next to - even if he doesnt threaten to snore like an old man or headbutts me.
I love you.
I'm slacking on my shorthand so I guess I better do that and need to sort out all my portfolio for january. So much to do but no drive to do it, mayhave to wait until after Christmas.
Loving life so much atm.
One thing I need to get off my chest to my parents and my friends who either suspected it or noticed something. I don't know when I will tell them, and even if it does stop again I will have to say something. Its scary admitting to something like this though. hmm - well that makes no sense but when I think about it its a muddle so I guess whatever I write about it will come out as a muddle too.
No Guildford tonight due to snow so another night in... and can't see my friendlings I havent seen in ages due to shitty roads. Oh well. Bring on Xmas :) love life
xxx
Monday, 20 December 2010
Sunday, 12 December 2010
Dreamin'
5 days until I go home for xmas! Went home briefly this weekend and put the decorations up. Tradition every year is followed, and this year it was my turn to put the angel on the xmas tree. I love Christmas it is so magical.
1 week until I see Charlie. You have made me the happiest I have felt in a very long time. Although we're miles apart knowing you are at the other end of a phone or computor just keeps me going. You get me like no one else. You make me feel like no one else. I can't wait to spend Christmas and New Years with you. You have my heart. I love you.
x
1 week until I see Charlie. You have made me the happiest I have felt in a very long time. Although we're miles apart knowing you are at the other end of a phone or computor just keeps me going. You get me like no one else. You make me feel like no one else. I can't wait to spend Christmas and New Years with you. You have my heart. I love you.
x
Sunday, 5 December 2010
Your Song
Snow has been and gone in Bournemouth but with it came a sense of excitement about the approaching Christmas holidays. Although the rain has now washed it away I am praying that it will return for christmas and new year because I honestly can't think of anything more magical.
I've been seriously stressed recently and after it led me to do some pretty stupid things where I should have just kept my mouth shut, I decided to tackle it. For weeks my incredible boyfriend has had to put up with me stressing out because I hadn't wanted to tell my parents. But finally I told them. Everything.
I realised there is no point trying to protect them or not wanting them to worry. They are there to look after you. Even if you are 19 and no longer a child, you're still branching out for the first time so will need some guidance.
My parents are wonderful and didnt get annoyed like I thought they might but just supported me.
The stupid things I would like to apologise for.
I apologised almost straight away for the first and everything will be ok, I honestly never meant to hurt her feelings, I was just being pathetic. Bless her because she is just far too nice she told me it was all ok once I had apologised. But I still feel like I should give her some choccies or something. I'm not a horrible person I've just had some pretty dark days in the last couple of weeks and the littlest thing has made me lose it. Not a good enough excuse to be a bitch though. Sorry.
The second thing I apologise for, I handled it badly. Maybe I do need to grow up. And if theres a more perfect place to do that its living away from home and having to fend for yourself.
Putting the deposit down on our house for next year very very soon! 3 double bedrooms, 20 mins from uni and a house with my laavly girls Gemma and Stacey. I can't wait. You two have become my best friends and I love you for it. We've had two of our birthdays in Bournemouth so far - Jungle night for me and Granny night for Gemma - now we just have Stacey's night out before we leave for xmas and if its half as good as the others I know it will be amazing. BAMMJ for life.
Christmas means presents and I LOVE buying presents for people. I'm making a special trip to Southampton on thursday to purchase some things for the boyfriend. Hehehe. The boyfriend, who I would like to thank for being so incredible. Whether your quoting films to me or singing to your club classics. You always make me smile. I can't wait to spend Christmas and New Years with you. I love you.
A lot of the time at uni I get this look from my friends - mainly Rosie and Alex on a monday. Its like a half smile, tilt of the head and slightly raised eyebrows. A look which overall says "N'awwww". This look always follows when ever I mention the boyfriend. Their comments of how much I clearly care about him are always then followed but a slight blushing on my part. To all those with a boyf/girlf watch out for this look. I know I have given it myself, but of course when someone is such a big a part of your life you're gonna talk about them a lot.
Plans for next summer are starting to take shape. I don't know what country. I don't know when it will be. But I know who I am going to be spending it with. That is what matters to me the most.
12 days until I'm home for Christmas. 14 days until I see Charlie. I can't wait. xxx
I've been seriously stressed recently and after it led me to do some pretty stupid things where I should have just kept my mouth shut, I decided to tackle it. For weeks my incredible boyfriend has had to put up with me stressing out because I hadn't wanted to tell my parents. But finally I told them. Everything.
I realised there is no point trying to protect them or not wanting them to worry. They are there to look after you. Even if you are 19 and no longer a child, you're still branching out for the first time so will need some guidance.
My parents are wonderful and didnt get annoyed like I thought they might but just supported me.
The stupid things I would like to apologise for.
I apologised almost straight away for the first and everything will be ok, I honestly never meant to hurt her feelings, I was just being pathetic. Bless her because she is just far too nice she told me it was all ok once I had apologised. But I still feel like I should give her some choccies or something. I'm not a horrible person I've just had some pretty dark days in the last couple of weeks and the littlest thing has made me lose it. Not a good enough excuse to be a bitch though. Sorry.
The second thing I apologise for, I handled it badly. Maybe I do need to grow up. And if theres a more perfect place to do that its living away from home and having to fend for yourself.
Putting the deposit down on our house for next year very very soon! 3 double bedrooms, 20 mins from uni and a house with my laavly girls Gemma and Stacey. I can't wait. You two have become my best friends and I love you for it. We've had two of our birthdays in Bournemouth so far - Jungle night for me and Granny night for Gemma - now we just have Stacey's night out before we leave for xmas and if its half as good as the others I know it will be amazing. BAMMJ for life.
Christmas means presents and I LOVE buying presents for people. I'm making a special trip to Southampton on thursday to purchase some things for the boyfriend. Hehehe. The boyfriend, who I would like to thank for being so incredible. Whether your quoting films to me or singing to your club classics. You always make me smile. I can't wait to spend Christmas and New Years with you. I love you.
A lot of the time at uni I get this look from my friends - mainly Rosie and Alex on a monday. Its like a half smile, tilt of the head and slightly raised eyebrows. A look which overall says "N'awwww". This look always follows when ever I mention the boyfriend. Their comments of how much I clearly care about him are always then followed but a slight blushing on my part. To all those with a boyf/girlf watch out for this look. I know I have given it myself, but of course when someone is such a big a part of your life you're gonna talk about them a lot.
Plans for next summer are starting to take shape. I don't know what country. I don't know when it will be. But I know who I am going to be spending it with. That is what matters to me the most.
12 days until I'm home for Christmas. 14 days until I see Charlie. I can't wait. xxx
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