Remember, Remember the 9th of November

I am 19 in under 2 weeks. It just seems so old. I honestly still feel like a child not wanting to grow up but still wanting the independance. Maybe that's how all grown ups feel? Sensible on the surface so they can gain as much freedom and independance as possible yet underneath it all they'd rather just go back to playing for hours doing absolutely nothing, but being totally engrossed in this absolute nothing!

When I was younger I used to line up all of my toys around me and read to them. When I first started doing this, I couldnt read. I would remember as much as I could I spose from what my mum and dad had read to me and make the rest up. Shows where my love for reading came from. I think this was my "i want to be a teacher when i grow up" stage. This stayed the same until I was about 6 and wanted to be an archeologist - which I could probably spell correctly then - broken only by about 3 months of just wanting to be Sporty Spice.

From this photo I can tell I was never a cute child. I was definitely far too spoilt before my brother turned up. Four years of being the only child and only grandchild. I now sincerley apologise for all the nasty tricks I played on my little brother.
Whats also weird about the photo is that I can actually name all of those toys. I'm glad that dress never resurfaced.

"I love this pic...I was down stairs and you were "too quiet". This is how I found you...toys lined up and books lined up, reading to them all!!" - Mum just facebooked me this. She deserves a mention as she was the sneaky one who took the photo.


Here's a weird thing that inspired this post and that picture. I keep dreaming about my kids - or the kids I will one day have. Bloody freaking me out. I mean of course I want kids and yea there are certain people who do know what I want to call my children. But I am 18 (going on 19) I have at least a few years of career and money making before I even think of kids. So if the dreams wouldnt mind stopping that would be great or at least not being every night.

Jungle Themed night out for my birthday. Definitely will be missing certain people though but once again a burden of uni is always having to miss someone.
Love xxxx

P.S. Just realised I am sitting in the exact same position as my three year old self in the photo. My feet like that and everything! Woah. Instead of a book I have a laptop in my hands and I'm surrounded by newspapers, assignment drafts and text books instead of dolls.
P.P.S Yes I already know what I'm getting you for Christmas, but its because I love you and want to get it right. ;)

Safe

I had a realisation about someone at the weeked. I realised that they were one of the most important things in my life. After not seeing them for over a month its safe to say I was worried about it. But nothing had changed, things had got better infact. Leeds is such a beautiful city. Bloody freezing but beautiful. Its a lot like London actually just on a smaller scale but with equally amazing shops which caused me to spend a bit too much. American Aparrell and Urban Outfitters being my main downfall. Seeing Stephy and Ellen for some girly shopping was lovely.
But my first and only reson for the 5 and half hours on the train from Bournemouth was of course Charlie. I can't even describe the enormous rush of feelings and emotions when I turned round and saw him at the station. Yes is soppy but actually seeing that person you havent seen in months in the flesh, seeing them grinning at you, its amazing. I think I was even speechless. It was just so surreal.
Time seemed to go past too quickly. I could feel myself just treasuring every second and as I watched them pass me I would play them back in my mind. Storing them in the place where your deepest memories go. Whether it was at the most initmate of moments or just being sung to by my silly boyfriend.
Ridiculously after just three days I picked up a slight northern twinge to my Surrey accent but I spose when you're with someone 24/7 that will happen.
So many moments were just perfect, the ones you can always look back on and the ones I always will. Being sung to for hours on end, talking into the early hours then being completely stunned when you see its half 3, the best hair wash ever, OCD incidents involving curtains and sheets, cute cute phonecalls with younger siblings and grandparents, too many similarities to Ken from Toy Story and of course the high fives. I had a v. v. good time. Hazzaar...
Sunday was the hardest goodbye I have ever had to do in my life. Didn't want to let go of the last hug and managed to get through the ticket barrier before bursting into tears. Like so many other moments in my life another rom com momentoccured. I told myself I would not look back. But stopping short of the stairs I looked back to see Charlie dong the same. With a slight wave and another torrent of tears I lugged me and my stuff sadly onto the train.
The woman next to me on the train offered me a tissue and gave me a sympathetic look. What a complete idiot I must have looked. Ha.
First night home, even though I was soo tired it was so hard to sleep. But in uni the next day I honestly could not stop smiling. And still I'm on such a high from the weekend.
Christmas needs to come quicker, I wish I could see him sooner but I know its not possible :(
I love you.

BIRTHDAY IN EXACTLY 2 WEEEKS!!!!!!!!
Housemates are up to something. I can feel it. haha.

xxxx

Brittany

The person you can talk to until 2 in the morning and not even realise the time.
The person you can talk to about absolutely nothing but everything at the same time.
That person is the person. I love you.

Come Together

So clearly my time at uni was going too smoothly. I now have a bad concussion.
On thursday everyone went out but as I was in early the next day I didn't. Robbo and Annah came in at about 3 and woke me up so I went down to see them and get a glass of water - I should have just stayed in bed. But as I am walking down the stairs, a steaming drunk Robbo decides it would be funny to run at me from the bottom, get me over his shoulde rin a fireman's carry and run back up to the top again. Of course in his drunken state he did not comprehend the fact that as the stairs go down, so does the height of the ceiling. So as he puts me over his shoulder I smack my head pretty hard on the ceiling.
Next day I wake up feeling sick and groggy, blurry vision and the headache of all headaches. Go to see the uni doctor who may as well have just tapped me on the head a said "You have a concussion, bad times."
He didnt obviously but he couldnt really say anything else apart from you may feel like this for up to 2 weeks, no drinking for a week and you need to be with people for the next 48 hours in case you collapse. Great.
So now I am on my third day of concussion and still feel like shiit. On my night in with the boys on friday I went a little bit weird and after at first laughing at my dazed expression realised I was not ok. After Annah, who had gone home, had a word Matt has now resorted to asking me "are you ok? are you alright?" every five seconds. Probably because I am the mum of the house and they would end up living in squallor without any food if i died ha.

It is 5 days until I make my epic journey up to Leeds to see Charlieeeee. I can't wait, so so excited and looking forward to it. It will be amazing.

I love you.

x

Sherbet

Bournemouth is officially my home.
Murley Road is a bit of a shit hole but I love it and my housemates.

I have taken to univeristy really well I think, my course is proving to be ridiculously hectic and hardcore but will totally be worth it. My lecturers are briliantly especially Dan, who's lectures so far have included taking our shoes off and also eavesdropping on people. Everyone on my course deserves to be there and we all worked hard to make it so we will continue working hard.
Obviously I have started making friends and building a new group down in B-Town. Murley Road boys and girls aren't just who I live with but also a girl who lives up the road and another house of lads we've been hanging round with.
The Group, as we've been come to known are Annah, Leeroy and Matt who I live with and love so much, I couldnt ask for any better housemates. Beth who lives up the road and Annah have become my besties with our talks of our boys. I dunno what I would do with out them. The boys from the other house are Jack (Robbo), Jack (Blondie), Will (Northern Will) and Rich (Ricardo). The nicknames for the Jack's came about so we wouldn't mix either of them up but now both nicknames have stuck and niether are called Jack. Three girls and six guys, plus any mates who want to tag along. I can honestly say I have had the best nights out of my life with these people and I totally love them for it.
The intensity of my course has produced my own little group from that. I've stayed good mates with Bassil as we have ended up just being around the same people. Alex, Josie, Stacey and Gemma are my girls and we do love our gossip and a laugh - sometimes the only way to get thrugh one of Roman's lectures - and then also Sam and Bassil entertain with their consant arguments about music.

I would also like to announce that Charlie Oakley is my boyfriend and I love him so much. Honestly could not be happier and I don't think I stopped smiling for 3 days after. Thats a lie, I still can't stop smiling.
I couldnt be more excited about the 22nd when I go up and see him for the weekend.

Saw my rents for first time in three weeks yesterday which was lovely as they took me out for a roast. I am missing them quite alot!

I need to crack on with some short hand and my assignments.

Love x