Now That We Found Love

Toy Story 3 is amazing. I cried a lot and it was as good maybe better than the original two. Its all about Andy growing up and its when you finally see him drive off to college at the end that the tears really start coming.

Popped out into Camberley after with Dawn, Sophie, Cherise, Bassil and Tom and our goal was to get Tom very drunk. It worked as we managed to get him to do a few shots. Honestly the funniest thing ever. Also when Dawn had a laughing fit, threw her head back to laugh but then smacked it on the wall behind. First time I have honestly and properly laughed in a number of days.

I'm not gonna lie driving to and being in Camberley was a struggle. Everything there is you. I had to stop myself constantly from going "Oh we did that there..." "Thats where..." "Funniest thing happened there..." because it would have driven the girls insane but also would have made me upset myself haha.
Then seeing you in Spoons I actually froze on the spot and realised that if I could have at that point I would have ran out of there and driven home. But after being told to 'man up' by my friends I stayed even if I did feel slightly faint. Because of that I then avoided you and it got to the point where it was too late for me to approach. I hate that you know when you see someone you slightly know or know it will be awkward and its up to you to take the first move but then you put it off until its too late. Well I did that and I honestly thgouht that i had ruined everything but then after an hour you proved to be less of a pussy than me and came and spoke to me.
Every nervous feeling I had disappeared thanks to the way you imprisoned me in a hug that lasted for what seemed like a million years.

It was awkward but I couldnt have asked for a more perfect awkward moment. 

I didnt say everything I wanted to but neither did you so we're even on that. I managed to not start blubbing which was surprising as I was still fragile after how much I cried in the cinema.You teasing me probably helped lighten the mood and even when we realised that there was about 20 people staring at us we could laugh about it. Even if you did threaten to hit a certain person who was throwing looks haha.
How I felt and have always felt hasn't changed, probably won't ever change, but I just went head over heart, one of the hardest things I've ever had to do.

Regret. You can't change what you've done so in one sense regret is pointless. But in another sense regret highlights how much you care about that one thing. I have been feeling a lot of regret and it hurts. Life is full of regrets but every choice you makes gets you closer to the future parts of your life, in this case mine is to do with the end of summer and university. Too many hard feelings at the moment, so this is not gonna be easy, even though I never thought it would be.

I was demanded by two drunken gals and an asian to go the Kebab van after, another part of camberley which will always remind me of an interesting trip back from the cinema. :)
Also loved how Dawn and Sophie got chatted up as they were buying their chips.

All my love x

Its like rain on your wedding day...

Ok so I have developed asthma at the age of 18.
No biggy? apparently not as this now means that my allergic reactions will now be twice as fast and twice as likely to be fatal.
Plus I have just found out after being violently sick the last two times I have eaten it including tonight and its bloody ironic. Another stupid thing for people to laugh about. I am allergic to salmon. Ri-god-damn-diculous.


And once again I have opened my big mouth on my blog again and put my foot in it.
I'm sorry.
It doesnt discredit anything I said or wrote. Worst 24 hours ever.
I love you x

Baby Got Back

 My parents are livid with me. Literally probably could not be angrier.
Yesterday was eventful to say the least, had lunch and chats with Lottie and Georgie who proved to make the afternoon suitably mental. They make me seem like a shy, retiring kind of person, which is why I love them. This photo honestly just sums up our afternoon, it took us quite a few attempts to get this but we managed it and of course we love it.

They're not the reason my parents are livid with me, my parents are livid with me because I got in at half 10 and then decided I wanted to go out and drink away how shit I was feeling. So I got a lift into Guildford, saw the lovely Megan Pinched who is sadly going to Kiwi land and danced the night away with all the Farnham girlies and also saw alot of Sammie who I have missed loads since we got back form holiday. But somehow my lift home got mucked up and whereas I had said I'd be home be half 1-2ish I ended having to get my mum to come pick me up at 4. When both my rents had work the next day. You can see why they're annoyed.

So those two parts of my day were minor compared to the main thing which has left me feeling like absolute shit. I am drained and have that empty feeling for the second time in a year! This will not happen again I am going to promise myself that. One year, two heartbreaks. Not great so far. I'm honestly struggling right now to know what to write, I have spent all day distracting myself and now I'm facing it again its not going well. I ended it now because it would have the best outcome for both of us before it managed to get bitter. I have said and written down everything I wanted to say to you and I hope that helped because at the time I definitely couldn't get my words ourtheres probably more but for now I can't face it. One thing I will say is that I knew stuff you didn't know I knew about so that was another thing that swayed my decisions and if anything comes of what that is then I honestly can say I probably couldnt feel any worse but the real reasons you know about.
I don't know what else to say. There probably is more but right now I can't say it or think of it.

Ermm yea. I suppose I'll keep as busy as possible and just look forward to my holiday.
I love my friends, once again you prove to be right and always there for me.

Love x

Hard Girls

I bought a book on holiday for 13 euros, so expensive but I realised that I had done something totally out of character and had not actually packed any. I usually take about 4.
So heading to Koni Village's Mini-Mart I took it upon myself t spend double the amount I nrmally would on one book, Hard Girls by Martina Cole.
Martina Cole has always been one of my fabourite writers as she focuses on the crossing of criminality and legality in the modern world in a more honest way than the Bill could ever hope to acheive. It has also been said how she displays the way in which there is no such thing as Good and Bad but just how they both fuel each other and especially in this book we see the good and bad of society unite to capture a larger evil.
It looks at a police investigation into a serial killer who is brutally murdering prostitutes, not the funnest holiday read as you can imagine but Cole's ability to show you every thought and exert of the lives of the two leadin detectives Kate and Annie which is enthrawlling.
Kate is not only a legendary detective but the fact her long time parter is an ex-mobster makes he uphold the respect of all the criminals and police she deals with in her investigation.


As of late I have been in quite a thoughtful mood especially in relation to relationships a paragraph stuck out to me from the whole book whilst I was reading on my sun bed in Crete. I read it, marked the page and knew I needed it to go on my blog.

"It was strange really, how one person could have so much impact on your life. You didn't even know they existed for yers, then one day you met them, and that was it. You whole life would be changed overnight, you suddenly found you needed someone so much you couldnt imagine your life without them.  Yet you had lived without them for years and years, you had gone to work, laughed, cried, gone on holiday, and all that time you had never dreamed of them, heard of them, seen them or even smelled them. Then one day you crossed paths with them and your life, the life you had loved, had come to enjoy, wasn't good enough any more. Withoutthat person you felt alone, unloved, unwanted."

Ok so its dramatic, a bit bleak at the end but can be held as sentimen to many people I'm sure. Whether you feel like that now, have felt that way or now hold the prospect of feeling that in te future, the all consuming emotions that envelope everyone when they fall for someone have been demonstrated exactly by Martina Cole.

I can't wait for this afternoon.
Love xx

3 Mixers, 2 Shots, 1 Fish bowl, 5 euros.

This blog will be loooong but I dont care because I want a blog to comemorate the amazing time I had on the little island of crete and more specifically in the buzzing town of MALIA!



Day 1
Somehow we all managed to get up at 4 and get to Gatwick for half 5. It was tough but we did it somehow!!! The flight was soo LOOONG especially as ours was delayed by an hour and half which meant we were waiting for ages then our plane was swapped around so they didnt even have a bar. That turned out to be hilarious as the announcement of "No alcohol on board" was greeted with a plane full of young people booing. We arrived at our hotel/apartment complex at about 5 o clock in ze afternoon in Crete which is 3 in England as we were 2 hours ahead.

The fishbowl called a Sexy Mother F***er for obvious reasons

And even though we had just turned up in the country we decided to go out on the lash that very night and boy was it eventful. Walking onto the strip we were yelled at by 2 guys who said "Its your first night init girls". We replied uncertainly like "Ermm yea.." and were like how the hell did they know that!!! Well looking back now, 5 girls walking onto the strip with our jaws on the flaw as we take in the hubbub of activity which has suddenly been thrown in our faces may give it away, but maybe also the fact we were all so bloody pale compared to everyone else out partying.
The night was good but clearly as we were Malia virgins we drank way too much and in the words of one of the Welsh Reps we managed to get "Absolutely Paraletic!". I should explain now about the reps who try and PR you into their bar. Basically they approach you as you walk down the strip like "alright girls, wher eyou from...." then bombard you with the deals they have at their respective bars and why you should come to theirs as its so amazing and so much better than the others. We managed to get a few reps on our side who would recognise and throw in a few extra free drinks, especially the ones who took a fancy to Jess (Connor, Alex and James), Sammie (man with nice eyes and malibu man) and Leanne ("once you've had black you'll never go back").  But that night proved to be the scariest by far when Sammie decided to probably drink more than her own weight in alcohol and pass out in the toilets with me and Leanne. Thank god we had found Harry (friend of Leanne and Becky) who proved to be the biggest hero ever.
So as Sammie is trowing up in an alley way he says

"Does anyone have a tissue? No?" 

*Takes off and sacrifices his own t-shirt* 

What a hero.

Paraletic in less the 5 minutes

I honestly have never seen so much sick in my entire life and how that can come out of just one person is beyond me. It was truly awful so after an hour of having Sammie in the recovery position by the side of the street in Malia and finally persuading a taxi driver to get us back to the hotel we got back to the room. Harry had had to carry Sammie as a dead weight up the ridiculously steep hill which led up to our apartments and then we spent the whole of the rest of the night up with Sammie hoping that she wouldnt die before morning. 

Truly awful, but I spose it did benefit us for the rest of the holiday as we certainly watched everything we drank because we werent sure but thought maybe she had been spiked and also it brought us closer as a group. When you dont have a grown up to tell you everything is going to be alright you grow in literally seconds. I was almost as messy as Sammie but could still walk so my goal for the first few hours of that night was to sober up, so for a while I just sat in the corner of the room eating crisps and bread and drinking water until I then moved onto the bed to look after Sammie as well.

Day 2
As you would have guessed the next day we woke up to Sammie still unwell but asleep and we knew that sleeping it off was the best thing for her.  This is when our sunbathing began! And we all stayed relatively white for a few days, we sampled some of the resturant food which was lovely. The night out was one of no drinking for Sammie and one of the worst nights for me as some person decided to make a specticle of themselves, even if they weren't even part of our group and tried everything to shun me from any involvment in what we were all doing. Pathetic really and I only got upset due to consumption of alcohol so I ended up sobering it up with Samantha for the night.

Day 3
We discovered our 2 favourtite bars of all time! and turned them into our regular stops.

The R and B bar proved to be a popular place for Jess, Leanne, Becky and Sammie specifically as its mor etheir music than mine but it did result in me being taught how to 'grind' by Jess haha. sooo funny. Jess and Becky also fell in love with the DJ from that bar aswell. He wasn't too appealing to me leanne and Sammie due to his missing teeth. Then down the road from R and B was pop world which was personally my favourite. You know when you go to a party and for about an hour you get the songs which are totally cheesy well imagine that but ALL NIGHT! Dirty Dancing was one of my personal favourites and the fact that you can dance like a kid and no one judges you.
As you can see form the photo the tans are starting to appear!!!!! And also we never usually wore our own clothes a swapped most of hte time. That night I wore leanne's top and sammie's skirt lol. I thought I looked quite holiday like and tropical as I dont usually wear such bright colours. That night I also randomly bumped into Emily who I spent the whole of this year at college sitting next to in history. I had totally forgotten she'd be out there so when I saw her I was literally screaming EMILY! at the top of my voice then ran over and jumped on her. naturally we got a photo together haha we both look tre tre drunk.

Day 4
We had A LOT of fun with Jess's underwater camera and even thought most of the underwater photos were hideous it was hilarious whilst taking them anyway so was worth it. That night out we found are favourite bar/club in the form of Corkers! It proved to be a popular place for most people and where we would meet Harry and his lot then where I again bumped into someone from college, this time Chris from my Drama class.

One of the best pictures I got was when Tinie Tempah came on and then out of no where appeared I guy who looked exactly like him. Afterwards Rihanna came on and everyone started point at Sammie. But thanks to Sammie's hair for most of the holiday us five were refered to as The Saturdays, we all look nothing like them apart from Sammie and Leanne but I see the point lol. 
 
Day 5
We saw rather more shenanigans this night including the presence of the most hilarious Greek man selling roses who thought that Harry was married to all of us and we all had different nights of the week, just so he would buy 5 roses and not just one. I saw lovely miss Steph Cann who I saw for a bit in the club Cloud 9 and it was lovely to see her and all her friendlings, they're all still out there at the moment, probably laughing at how I was when I last saw them. Lets just say on the lats night I drank quite alot and fell into them all. haha.

That night in Corkers so me and Chris take to the bar and demonstrate our amazing dancing skills to all within the bar which I'm sure they all enjoyed. I got after I almost slipped and fell off due to the surface being covered in god knows what drinks. 
 

Day 6
After a week of people watching round the pool we finally spoke to some peoples from our hotel. After havign a drink at the Pool Bar before heading out and me and Sammie being forced to do some Kareoke to Justin Beiber a group of lads from Nottingham offered to buy us some Skittle Bombs and we got talking to them.  We also found out that when we had been in peril on monday night, one of the guys Tom had come up to us on the strip offering to help. and after asking where we were staying asked if they could help cos they were staying there too. Of course we didnt believe them and were like 'yea yea go away!' as it really was not the time to be hit on. Jess in few words told them where to go, so when we saw them round the pool the next day we were tre tre embarrassed. But after nicknaming Jess as 'Violent' he forgave her and stayed mates.

 Out in Malia we had another AMAZING night. Another night of drunken and dancing antics and it was so so so so so fun :D. Jess was knighted as Captain Jess as she was the person who chose the bars and also took on the reps who were trying to entice us with their deals.
 
Day 7
We saw the lads from our hotel again but they looked honestly hilarious as they had decided to dress up as babies for the evening and they honestly looked hilarious!!!

As our last night we wore our Malia t-shirts and drank an excesssive amount of booze.  It was an amazing night to end on even if at one point I couldnt actually stand up and had to be carried by Sammie.

Having our names on the back of our tops proved to be hilarious as yells of our names followed us down the strip. It was such a good night, such a good holiday and getting up the next day was very very hard.

Plane Journey
I had one of the most embarrassing moments ever on the plane back as I had to tell the stewardess about my allergies they then did a big announcement to the whol eof th eplane that they wouldnt be serving any nuts on board. Some of the London boys from our hotel then stood up and pointed me out on the plane. And for the next few minutes the people around us proceeded to say stuff really loud like "Oh I really fancy a snickers now." Stupid Allergies!!!!

So the holiday was very exciting and dramatic and so so so much fun with the girls. Yet the worst part for me was how much I missed my boy (who if any drunken zombie's asked was 6"7 a professional footballer and in the bar opposite so they had better back off asap or just for mine and Sammie's amusement a few nights we were a lesbian couple haha). By about friday I was literally in pieces, after seeing someone almost everyday and then going for a week with barely any contact and not actually seeing them it was hard. Leanne was the same, a few times she got a bit upset about not seeing Jason which didnt help me haha. The little things like saying goodnight or even just telling me that i am the biggest geek he knows were the things I missed the most. Opening my front door yesteday I dont think I have had a smile that big in a long time. Even if the second thing said to me was "Hey Freckles" which have decided to take over the whole of my face!!!! I miss you beyond belief and am glad to be home. Also missed ma famille too of course, even if I did scare them when I came in and talked non stop for about 3 hours then just totally crashed out haha.

Love xxx

Pack Up

You know those things that always happen to other people, the things you laugh about or cringe as your mates tell you the story. And you think, well i'm not stupid enough to let that happen to me.
Well it turns out I am stupid enough to forget one of the biggest things in my life! and one thing which could potentially ruin it.
Last night I woke up at half past 3, realised what I had forgotten, sat bolt up right and just repeated 'oh my god' for about 5 minutes. I can honestly say it was the scariest morning of my life but is now sorted.

If only life was as simple as the sunbathing days of Malia. But I spose where would the fun be in that?
xx

Buzzing

I should be going to sleep right now but I am far too excited. I could barely sleep last night so god knows how I will cope tonight!
Up for half 4 leaving at 5. COME ON MALIA!!!!!

This afternoon was lovely. Tre eventful and at times hilarious, managed to get the giggles at the worst point possible but it to be fair it was so funny, and typical.

All I want from Malia is an amazing time and an amazing tan. Ok thanks.

Au revoir, adios, antio sas, gooodbye.
Love x

In Between Days

Who thought you could ever be this excited on a Sunday evening. But there is good reason for my excitement!

MALIA in less than two days, its more like a day and half as we're leaving mine at 5AM I had the girls over for chips and dips and chats earlier today and we just went through all the last minute stuff like who was bringing the hair dryer, whether we were taking heels and how many clothes we were taking. I clearly have packed way too much but as has always been my way, I would rather have more than I need rather than needing more than I have. And I never plan my outfits I just put them on before I go out so I've basically thrown everything in, literally.
I am of course slightly nervous as its my first time abroad without the rents, first time on a plane without my rents and I've made Jess promise to hold my hand on take off and landing cos I always get super scared. Also heard some interesting stories but I spose you are always going to hear those things, even from places like Guildford and Camberley, it just happens that you're miles away from home and in a foreign country.
Even though I'm only going for a week I am going to miss people hense why I'm heading to the pub tonight to see my college girls but of course I'm especially going to miss Charlie. A week is a long time when you speak to that person everyday and you see them most of the time. I spose its also down to how much you like that person and when its a lot 7 days is a long time. Even just a "Hey you." text or messenging you asking how your day was can make you smile. I have a feeling I'm rambling now in a slightly embarrassing way so i shall stop haha.

I've decided to try out my acting skills for the last time as now I no longer study the stupid subject I wont be able to soon. This will involve medoing accents and pretending to be from various parts of the UK and also from australia. Sophie did say I should pretend to be French but I cannot do that accet as amazing as she can so I gave up. I'll probably just stick to West Country accent, Scouse, welsh and maybe a bit of scottish. :)
Then as the taken friend I wont feel embarrased to approach the guys and pimp them out to all the singles ;) which I'm sure they will kill me for later on hehe. And yes I am most definitely taken. I have been for quite a considerable amount of time actually, how time flies when one is having fun.


Spain have won the World Cup!!! After months of it occupying every channel, every topical show and hindering a whole generation's exam results it is over!

I love you, and you, and I especially, more than anything love you. But you already know that.
Pub was fun :)

Love xx

Stroke the Furry Wall

Get Him to the Greek has got to be one of the funniest films I have seeen in a while. I laughed literally constantly :)

Russell Brand seems to have finally accomplished something good in his life. P Diddy is actually hilarious! Jonah Hill is brilliant and just keeps the laughs coming.

xx

Never gonna give you up...

When you can totally be yourself around someone that is when you know that everything is literally amazing. Whether that is walking along guildford high street singing Rick Astley or dancing to someone ridiculous like Duffy or even S Club 7 or constantly doing truly awful accents and throwing them into any conversation, especially northern, the little things we do that show you are totally at ease with that special person you care so much about are special.

7 DAYS until Malia!!!!

Could not be more excited even though I probably will be bouncing from the walls by monday night! Today I spent a crazy amount on holiday necessities and finally found a decent bikini. Hello leopard print.

Bought some sunnies from Whistles and they are the kind that make you look and feel amezzin. Even if when I put them on the response I got was "You do realise they're orange..." They are not orange! just a light brown haha. Thanks babe!

Today was just a lovely day.

Tomorrow the plan is:

-Go to camberley and demand they make my blckberry work

-Go to aldershot and get the holiday tees printed :D

-Start sorting through clothes for holiday!!!!!!!

- Sunbathing?

I'm glad all the shit that has been effecting me most recently has died down. I didnt retaliate like I wanted to, I took the high road when all I wanted to do was go and punch their weasally faces but I resisted and am proud to say I did. The fact that I had to stop my dad doing the same is rather amusing. I saw one of them the other day and pulled off ignoring them very very well. 

I miss lunchtimes in Cafe D. Even if it does involve Payne and Miller's singing.

xxx

First Kiss

So I'm driving my brother to his rehearsal in Fleet and My First Kiss by 3OH!3 and Ke$ha comes on so we start singing it very very loudly, a van stopped next to us at the lights and looked at us very strangly. Mainly at me cos I was singing so loud, it wasn't just this song we were singing and dancing to (well I was mainly bobbing as you can't dance and drive, believe me I have tried) we also had a good old sing to Telephone by Lady Gaga, a bit of Black Eyed Peas and then a good old sing along to House of Pain Jump Around which did infact get us a couple of funny looks haha. It was a proper laugh, me and my brother have totally grown up in the last year and have started to actually get on with each other like adults. We used to fight SOOOO much when we were younger but those days have gone, but of course the occasional wind up will occure :D

But after listening to 3OH!3 I got thinking about first and last kisses. They make up huge moments in everyones lives.
Anyone can tell you when and where their first kiss happened and I mean like proper kiss not from the playground days of Kiss Chase although they were always fun. I was always the one to suggest that game so I suppose that says alot about me now haha.

But its not just the very first kiss we have that is memorable its the first kisses with certain people, people who leave the biggest marks on your lives and will never be forgotten.
My most recent 'first kiss' probably wont be forgotten by either of us, the date was pretty specific, the location was pretty familiar, the circumstances were one of surprise on both parts and the kiss was perfect.
Others have seen when this kiss happened because he decided to write it in my diary. The fact that it had been written the week before isn't known by all who have seen it but the fact that a joke in a history lesson turned into something else makes it even more incredible. Theres that word again, incredible, it does just sum up everything at the moment though. But is equally as special when we first listened to that song and you said "I love this song but I bet you havent heard it. Its one of my favourite songs." And I just smiled and started singing along haha, the look on your face was priceless. Makes me smile just thinking about it.

On the flip side last kisses are hard. When you know its a last kiss it makes the emotion at the time unbearable but I spose if you didnt get a chance to have a last kiss or say goodbye then there would be no relief after and you would always think what if which I certainly have not. But I am in SUCH a good mood today I don't want to dwell on that.
 

This evening should be good, 4 for you Glen Coco! Thank god you're so good at football I guess haha. I now have a massive erge to watch Mean Girls, such a good film haha. Last night was lovely, things are just so so so so marvellous.

9 Days until Malia!!!!

I should really start getting organised, we still need to sort our t-shirts out haha. EEEEEEEEEE!

Love x

Gurls

So its official after not going out for ages the worst thing to do is to go out two nights in a row. I feel so drained and tired. But here is a picture of us girls before the mayhem of Camberley started. I think we all look gorgeous to be perfectly honest.

I am also in an incredibly bad mood as my blackberry is not working properly and it looks like i'm going to have to take it back. Whats making me feel even more annoyed is that its probably something so obvious that I am doing wrong thats making it not work so i'll be the one who ends up looking like an idiot when they point out the obvious. I shall just have to see.

I realised yesterday that I have been worrying about one thing far too much, like thinking about it so much I'd just get worked up about it. Questions from friends haven't helped give me peace of mind but I've realised I shouldn't worry. I'm a worrier but as exams and stuff are over I shouldnt be worrying like an old woman anymore and I just need to chill out! If I'm honest I wouldnt change anything at the moment and as its all near to perfect I wouldn't want to let my worrying jeopardise anything.

I have teaching in an hour and half and am totally excited about doing songs from Annie and Bugsy Malone with my older class. :D I have like all the steps like sorted in my head.

Love xxx

Teen Spirit

Well I have definitly kick started my summer with a bang after a tre hectic night in Camberley Town. Saw some people I had not seen in ages, made some new mateys and had an amazing time with my girls. Saw alot of Charlie which was lovely aswell, especially as this would shrug off any unwanted attention. Amelia got her fair share and the most out of all of us which resulted in her despair but our amusement. Best misheard chat up line of the night:

"Your feet stink."

I have had about 2 hours sleep so i shall be napping in the sun later :) my headache and reluctancy towards food is building into an almighty hangover.

Another thing I loved about the night was being recognised as yours, or as being with you. Just felt right and was lovely even if it did result in Boyband shouting it (among other things) outside where everyone stared at me haha.

I have a BLACKBERRY!!! (Or WhiteBerry as Dawn put it) So exciting but i've banned myself from adopting it as my everyday phone until my holiday is over cos otherwise I will just want to take it with me and will just kill it or something. Another reason is that I still honestly can't work it for toffee. But I spose I shall gradually learn.

Laaav xxxxxxx

P.S. I win... always will babe ;)