Meow

Last chances on both sides. This is the one, because you are. I'll always love you. x

BU Summer Ball 2011

Best bits and fave pics.

BAMMJ Brownies

So excited to get there. So full of cider.

At university you make friends for life.
Someone I can always depend on to tell me like it is.
"You don't even look like a Brownie."-Robson

Jedward made an appearance in the Urban tent
in the form of Alex and Theo.

Trolls in the Milk tent.
A bunch of (plastic) flowers from Claire made my night.

The quality of this photo matches the state we were in.
Didn't make it to the 4am "survivors" photo but
a 2am "we almost made it" photo
will have to do!

Hadouken! then Tinchy Stryder on the Main Stage

Limbo

I learnt something today. I embarrass myself way to often, say idiotic things and act as the 'victim'. Today after days, weeks, of being on tenter hooks I slipped into being comfortable again and it was nice. A voicemail which made me smile, being stuck up for on twitter but then I did what I do best, stopped thinking. I went too far resulting in embarrassing myself.

When you're in a limbo how do you identify the norms of how to act when nothing is certain. Whether when you see that person you'll be able to hold them like you used to or you have to sit and talk things through like emotionless robots. When do you stop believing in promises previously made. When do you stop acting the way you always have done with a person.

I don't know.

Neither do you.

This situation sucks, even more than it did 2 hours ago. I am too negative, I'm the first too admit that, but if you're positive all the time you're more likely to be disappointed. Isn't it easier to be negative about something you care so much about, than build up hopes to have them crushed?
Shit.

Me and You.

"It's the little things that only I know, those are the things that make you mine."

xx

Moments

Life is not the amount of breaths you take, it's the moments that take your breath away.

So I think my obsession with twitter has replaced my need to constantly blog. lol I spose in a way all the things I do tweet I would have just put in one big looong post on here so in a way its better.
I've been doing a lot of "that moment..." or "that awkward moment..." tweets recently. One which made me laugh was one my friend Jess said to me early on sunday morning.

"That awkward moment when when you've stayed at a friends house and you're the first one to wake up." 

Everyone can relate to this at some point, Jess ended up resorting to bbming me for about an hour then, being the delightful friend she is woke up Shiv. By kicking her. But played in an accidental way like "Oh sorry, oh ar eyou awake no, shame...." lol
I can relate to that awkward moment a lot as I always wake up before the boyfriend when I stay at his or vice versa. I'm one of those people that can't really lie in and will wake up dead on 9 or 10 which is highly annoying. Whereas my boy could probably sleep until about 2 or 2 totally undisturbed if he wanted to.

At Christmas I had several eye opening moments that really put things intoperspective.
That moment when you realise without that one person you would be nothing.
That moment when you realise who your real friends are and you've finally lost the ones who you realise you had nothing in common with in the first place.
That moment that you realise how much work you put in to get here and YOUR SLEEPING THROUGH YOUR LECTURES. GET UP!

So I'm back at uni now, moved into the new house which is lovely and can't wait to see my girls again and go out and just dance like loons on loon pills. Guildford/Cambo/Fleet you can go out and have an alright time, you'll see people you know, people you like, people you dislike but you can never really do what you want. Bournemouth however is so big, has so many places and so many people that you can dance and be yourself, and if someone doesnt like it, who cares you will probably never see them again anyway.

Missing Charlie obviously and he's missing me a lot atm too. Once he starts lectures again I'm sure I'll be a distant memory ;) lol. Of course not but he'll be kept busy, like I am with my course. Christmas with him was amazing and I can't wait for 19th of Feb when I adventure up to Leeds for a long weekend.

I need to do shorthand. Great.

Love to all. xx

P.S. One more.... That moment I realised time goes to quickly when I'm with you.

2011... hi

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

So I reckon this is the year anniversary of my blog and what a year it has been. Thank you to all those who have even bothered to read my whinings, my dramas, my slush filled exclamations of love and the way in which my life still seems to course through hilarious situations.
One story which I cannot publish on my blog I re told last night. Its in 500 days of summer, after they go to the video store, so I reckon a handful of you will know what i'm talking about there. Amelia said to me "Tash how is it that these things always happen to you?!" I honestly don't know. I live my life as it comes and at times it comes at me full on, full of embarrassment, as this case was, and throws up funny stories for me to retell.

So 2011 what do you wanna throw at me?! Whatever it is I can take it.
Charlie is in bed with flu (not man flu, actual can't-get-out-of-bed-flu) so I unfortunately didnt get to spend New Years Eve with him. But instead had a laaavly night at Sophie's. I love my best friends. They never fail to make me laugh, whether its me and Amelia braving Aldershot to discover we have to do with Pizza Hut as Domino's is closed or realising that 500 Days of Summer is now one of my favourite films. They have been endlessly trying to make me watch it since it came out and I never bothered. Now I see I definitely should have.

Colour my life with the chaos of trouble.

Summer's yearbook quote, Belle and Sebastian lyrics. I'm gonna be a journalist so I spose I want this to be the case in my life. You can't get stories from thigns going right and everything being lovely.

The Christmas holidays have been lovely, I have loved being home and with my family and know that as soon as I go back to Bournemouth I will miss them so much. Even if it is my mum having a go at me that I miss or me yelling at my brother to turn down all the shooty-bang-bang games he continually plays on his xbox. Going to miss my friends again too and also -of course- Mr Oakley.
Charlie proved to be the biggest hit possible with my family at our Christmas party. My cousins loved him-some a cheekily more than others, my aunts loved him and he even managed to impress my uncles. But the highlight had to be when he got up and sung The Real Thing's You to Me Are Everything I thought I was going to burst with pride, embarrassment, laughter, admiration but mostly love. Our rendition of Rick Astley I must say was pretty flawless, but somehow I don't think we'll get away with singing it again. There's so much I could talk about but there's really no point, every moment with him has been perfect - including the fart conversation.

I don't think I'm going to do resolutions this year, I'm just going to live every moment to the full and when possible be spontaneous.
Key things in 2011 I will be looking forward to are Valentine's Day -that's my surprise-, birthdays, living in a different house, more hilarious times with Stace and Gemma, my very own radio show?, work experience, SUMMER, holiday?- if I/we ever get organised, turning 20 then Christmas all over again. There's probably more and there probably should be but right this second I'm living for now.

Love life. xxx      

Home for Christmas

After almost 6 weeks of not seeing the boy and my family, I am home. My family are amazing and have always supported me in everything I do. Friday I moved out of Murley Road after 2 months of constant misery and hassle that I wouldnt wish upon anyone. It got to the point where it was just one off things that would make me feel horrible but I realised that if I let these one off things just keep happening I would gradually feel worse.Charlie opened my eyes and made me realise that I needed to make a decision, because without making that decision about Murley Road how was I meant to make any other important decisions.
So with the help of my amzing mum and dad I moved out and they didn't even notice :D I'm now closer to Gemma and hopefully living with much nicer people.

One of the best things about being home is the FOOD! Finally not having to cook it myself and what I am eating actually being decent and not an oven meal or chips. Yesterday had my favourite, beef roast. Then my evening was made a whole lot better with the news that Charlie was home :)
Just the feeling of when he first hugged me makes me smile now. It is hard not seeing someone for a while but it makes the time you have with them seem a lot more precious and special. He gets me like no one else and there is no one else I would rather wake up next to - even if he doesnt threaten to snore like an old man or headbutts me.
I love you.

I'm slacking on my shorthand so I guess I better do that and need to sort out all my portfolio for january. So much to do but no drive to do it, mayhave to wait until after Christmas.
Loving life so much atm.
One thing I need to get off my chest to my parents and my friends who either suspected it or noticed something. I don't know when I will tell them, and even if it does stop again I will have to say something. Its scary admitting to something like this though. hmm - well that makes no sense but when I think about it its a muddle so I guess whatever I write about it will come out as a muddle too.

No Guildford tonight due to snow so another night in... and can't see my friendlings I havent seen in ages due to shitty roads. Oh well. Bring on Xmas :) love life

xxx