5 days until I go home for xmas! Went home briefly this weekend and put the decorations up. Tradition every year is followed, and this year it was my turn to put the angel on the xmas tree. I love Christmas it is so magical.
1 week until I see Charlie. You have made me the happiest I have felt in a very long time. Although we're miles apart knowing you are at the other end of a phone or computor just keeps me going. You get me like no one else. You make me feel like no one else. I can't wait to spend Christmas and New Years with you. You have my heart. I love you.
x
Sunday, 12 December 2010
Sunday, 5 December 2010
Your Song
Snow has been and gone in Bournemouth but with it came a sense of excitement about the approaching Christmas holidays. Although the rain has now washed it away I am praying that it will return for christmas and new year because I honestly can't think of anything more magical.
I've been seriously stressed recently and after it led me to do some pretty stupid things where I should have just kept my mouth shut, I decided to tackle it. For weeks my incredible boyfriend has had to put up with me stressing out because I hadn't wanted to tell my parents. But finally I told them. Everything.
I realised there is no point trying to protect them or not wanting them to worry. They are there to look after you. Even if you are 19 and no longer a child, you're still branching out for the first time so will need some guidance.
My parents are wonderful and didnt get annoyed like I thought they might but just supported me.
The stupid things I would like to apologise for.
I apologised almost straight away for the first and everything will be ok, I honestly never meant to hurt her feelings, I was just being pathetic. Bless her because she is just far too nice she told me it was all ok once I had apologised. But I still feel like I should give her some choccies or something. I'm not a horrible person I've just had some pretty dark days in the last couple of weeks and the littlest thing has made me lose it. Not a good enough excuse to be a bitch though. Sorry.
The second thing I apologise for, I handled it badly. Maybe I do need to grow up. And if theres a more perfect place to do that its living away from home and having to fend for yourself.
Putting the deposit down on our house for next year very very soon! 3 double bedrooms, 20 mins from uni and a house with my laavly girls Gemma and Stacey. I can't wait. You two have become my best friends and I love you for it. We've had two of our birthdays in Bournemouth so far - Jungle night for me and Granny night for Gemma - now we just have Stacey's night out before we leave for xmas and if its half as good as the others I know it will be amazing. BAMMJ for life.
Christmas means presents and I LOVE buying presents for people. I'm making a special trip to Southampton on thursday to purchase some things for the boyfriend. Hehehe. The boyfriend, who I would like to thank for being so incredible. Whether your quoting films to me or singing to your club classics. You always make me smile. I can't wait to spend Christmas and New Years with you. I love you.
A lot of the time at uni I get this look from my friends - mainly Rosie and Alex on a monday. Its like a half smile, tilt of the head and slightly raised eyebrows. A look which overall says "N'awwww". This look always follows when ever I mention the boyfriend. Their comments of how much I clearly care about him are always then followed but a slight blushing on my part. To all those with a boyf/girlf watch out for this look. I know I have given it myself, but of course when someone is such a big a part of your life you're gonna talk about them a lot.
Plans for next summer are starting to take shape. I don't know what country. I don't know when it will be. But I know who I am going to be spending it with. That is what matters to me the most.
12 days until I'm home for Christmas. 14 days until I see Charlie. I can't wait. xxx
I've been seriously stressed recently and after it led me to do some pretty stupid things where I should have just kept my mouth shut, I decided to tackle it. For weeks my incredible boyfriend has had to put up with me stressing out because I hadn't wanted to tell my parents. But finally I told them. Everything.
I realised there is no point trying to protect them or not wanting them to worry. They are there to look after you. Even if you are 19 and no longer a child, you're still branching out for the first time so will need some guidance.
My parents are wonderful and didnt get annoyed like I thought they might but just supported me.
The stupid things I would like to apologise for.
I apologised almost straight away for the first and everything will be ok, I honestly never meant to hurt her feelings, I was just being pathetic. Bless her because she is just far too nice she told me it was all ok once I had apologised. But I still feel like I should give her some choccies or something. I'm not a horrible person I've just had some pretty dark days in the last couple of weeks and the littlest thing has made me lose it. Not a good enough excuse to be a bitch though. Sorry.
The second thing I apologise for, I handled it badly. Maybe I do need to grow up. And if theres a more perfect place to do that its living away from home and having to fend for yourself.
Putting the deposit down on our house for next year very very soon! 3 double bedrooms, 20 mins from uni and a house with my laavly girls Gemma and Stacey. I can't wait. You two have become my best friends and I love you for it. We've had two of our birthdays in Bournemouth so far - Jungle night for me and Granny night for Gemma - now we just have Stacey's night out before we leave for xmas and if its half as good as the others I know it will be amazing. BAMMJ for life.
Christmas means presents and I LOVE buying presents for people. I'm making a special trip to Southampton on thursday to purchase some things for the boyfriend. Hehehe. The boyfriend, who I would like to thank for being so incredible. Whether your quoting films to me or singing to your club classics. You always make me smile. I can't wait to spend Christmas and New Years with you. I love you.
A lot of the time at uni I get this look from my friends - mainly Rosie and Alex on a monday. Its like a half smile, tilt of the head and slightly raised eyebrows. A look which overall says "N'awwww". This look always follows when ever I mention the boyfriend. Their comments of how much I clearly care about him are always then followed but a slight blushing on my part. To all those with a boyf/girlf watch out for this look. I know I have given it myself, but of course when someone is such a big a part of your life you're gonna talk about them a lot.
Plans for next summer are starting to take shape. I don't know what country. I don't know when it will be. But I know who I am going to be spending it with. That is what matters to me the most.
12 days until I'm home for Christmas. 14 days until I see Charlie. I can't wait. xxx
Thursday, 11 November 2010
Jungle Styleeeee
"I am 17 miles away from Bournemouth."
I honestly cried down the phone like "whaaaaaaat!" I could not have been happier. He rung me before he got there because Charlie knows that I would have died if he'd turned up and my room was a top and I was still in my pj's (which I was!) So amazing to see him. Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz :D
Jungle night out was sa-weeeeet!!
I managed to get suitably drunk and was looked after very well by Charlie and my crazy friends who also dressed up!! Totally loved Jodie and Emily's lion and elephant outifts!! Brilliant! The boys from Kings Road bought me the most ridiculous but equally brilliant hat which said "Happy Birthday to the QUEEN!" on it. Clearly shows what they think of me...
High maintenance yet they still love and put up with me ha!
Another thing which I have started to sort this week is who I am living with next year!
These lovely ladies (Gemma and Stacey) will be a delight to live with! Clicked with them literally on the first day! This picture may have to take pride of place on our lounge wall. Hehe. House searching beginns!!!!! Love you girlies!!
I was also made very very very very very happy by a suggestion made by Mr Oakley. But i'm keeping that under my hat whilst the plan is still developed. But I am very excited. Summer 11 <3
Music blog that I'm getting involved with should take off soon. The View are playing at the Old Fire Station on 1st December and I am determined to get an interview with them as they are one of my FAVE bands. I'm excited for this. So far bloggers are Errol, James, Ed, Bassil and me. All into different music with different opinions so it should be good.
I love Charlie.
I love my amazing friends in Bournemouth. (and Miss Meckiffe who came down)
So happy right now. xx
Sunday, 7 November 2010
Thousand Miles
"You know I'd walk a thousand miles if I could just see you, if I could just hold you. Tonight."
My weekend at home was amazing, incredible, the best and just all round bloody marvellous!!!! Friday I got to catch up with Sophie and Saturday I got my hair cut with Jess so had a gossip with her. Popped in to see girls at Whistles and saw other people in Guildford. Was great catching up and talking to my parents, brother and nan.
But I was in for the biggest shock of my life. Which honestly made me the happiest person alive!!
BEST BIRTHDAY SURPRISE EVERRR!!!!
Saturday night my parents had booked a table at a Greek restaurant in Chobham for us all to go to. It is my favourite food so I was looking forward to it so much. We had just got our starters and I popped to the loo with mum. I asked her if dad was ok, thinking he had fallen out with my nan, because he was acted really agitated. But mum assured me he was fine and we walked back to the table. As I walk back to the table I see that someone new has joined us. A guy with short blonde hair. Of course it is my amazing boyfriend Charlie who I thought was still in Leeds. I froze on the spot and just kept repeating "OH MY GOD!!!"
Up he gets with that massive grin of his on his face and gives me a massive hug. I honestly sat in a shocked silence for about 20 minutes and was shaking. haha I did not have a clue.
The meal was lovely, back at my house after it was lovely and when he popped in for bacon sarnies this morning it was lovely.
Best birthday present he could have got me was him there. And I got it. I also got a cardboard box - long story - with a letter which I reread when I got back to Bournemouth and cried like the sop I am ha!
I love this boy more than words can say!
Now I'm back in Bournemouth I'm so excited for my post tomorrow morning :D BAMMJ night out tomorrow night then my BIRTHDAY and Jungle Birthday night out on Tuesday!!!!!!!!!
So happy.
xxxxx
Friday, 5 November 2010
Like Its Her Birthday #2
Ok so I was in such a bad mood yesterday! I have read my blog backand shocked myself at how depressing it actually is!!!!!! For that I apologise. After an hour conversation with Charles last night I managed to perk up quite a bit. That boy just has a nack for making me smile and laugh. Probably down to all his singing, he's just soo incredible at it ;)
I'm so paranoid about missing my train that I have decided to not venture into uni today, also the fact its raining! But I did make up for it and get up at half 7 and start doing work. I think I'm going to end up having to do shorthand on the train, and if my Leeds journey is anything to go by I will be getting some funny looks.
SOOOOO EXCITED FOR:
- MY BIRTHDAY
- SEEING MY FAMILY
- PRESENTS (childish I know)
- JUNGLE NIGHT IN BOURNEMOUTH
The next few days should be amaaaaaazing! Yes! Turning 19 :)
So psyched for seeing Sophie tonight too. Now looking back on yesterday there was literally no need for me to get that upset. Sure i miss Charlie but I know for a fact Christmas is going to be amazing. And there's always skype and msn. Wednesdays conversation was fun and interesting ahaha.
Was another thing I thought about talking about but tbh she means nothing.
Haha funniest thing happened at uni the other day. I was walking out of the media school and the two massive glass double automatic doors decided to close on me. Not like the ones which would end up swinging shut in my face oh no! These ones came from either side and decided to full on squish me and break my shoulders. Bloody hurt. Truly hilarious now. Then as I was walking out fo uni some complete strange just went "God! Give us a smile love!" I think from the look I gave him he realised that I would rather kill him than smile. Poor guy. Haha. Another ridiculous event to add to the list of disasters which makes up my life.
Love life! Can't wait to have cuddles with my parents and of course my cats!!!
xxx
I'm so paranoid about missing my train that I have decided to not venture into uni today, also the fact its raining! But I did make up for it and get up at half 7 and start doing work. I think I'm going to end up having to do shorthand on the train, and if my Leeds journey is anything to go by I will be getting some funny looks.
SOOOOO EXCITED FOR:
- MY BIRTHDAY
- SEEING MY FAMILY
- PRESENTS (childish I know)
- JUNGLE NIGHT IN BOURNEMOUTH
The next few days should be amaaaaaazing! Yes! Turning 19 :)
So psyched for seeing Sophie tonight too. Now looking back on yesterday there was literally no need for me to get that upset. Sure i miss Charlie but I know for a fact Christmas is going to be amazing. And there's always skype and msn. Wednesdays conversation was fun and interesting ahaha.
Was another thing I thought about talking about but tbh she means nothing.
Haha funniest thing happened at uni the other day. I was walking out of the media school and the two massive glass double automatic doors decided to close on me. Not like the ones which would end up swinging shut in my face oh no! These ones came from either side and decided to full on squish me and break my shoulders. Bloody hurt. Truly hilarious now. Then as I was walking out fo uni some complete strange just went "God! Give us a smile love!" I think from the look I gave him he realised that I would rather kill him than smile. Poor guy. Haha. Another ridiculous event to add to the list of disasters which makes up my life.
Love life! Can't wait to have cuddles with my parents and of course my cats!!!
xxx
Thursday, 4 November 2010
Like It's Her Birthday
After following Joel Madden on Twitter I have reignited my love for Good Charlotte and their new album Cardiology is HOT! I thought the 2nd song on the album would act as an appropriate blog title.
MY GHD's HAVE DIED!
After four years of amazing companionship my beloved straighteners can no longer tame my ridiculously curly hair. I hadn't realised how long I'd had them but I got them for my 15th birthday.
Thank god I asked for some new ones for my 19th. WHICH IS IN UNDER FIVE DAYS!
I'm quite excited for the next weeks or so. At 20 past 2 tomorrow I get on a train to Farnborough Station which I shall reach at 4 o clock to my mum giving me millions of hugs. She may squish me to death with them, I honestly wouldnt be surprised. If I survive her hugs I then have to survive those given by my dad then by my nan. Of course I love the idea of these hug as I havent seen them in ages, especially my nan who I havent seen in 2 months!!!!
I'm planning on my weekend involving family time and attempting to drive (again) to see people. Miss Sophie Clarke is booked in for friday night and then Sammie and Jess at some point, then few others if I have time, maybe Meckiffe but she's ill and I dont wanna be horrid on my birthday!!!
Saturday night should be lovely as me, mum, dad, mike and nan are going out to a GREEK Restaurant (my fave food) and having my birthday meal!! Brother has a new girlfriend who aparently he is head over heels for so she may be coming too. At first I was like NO I DONT WANT HER TO COME! but only cos I was feeling sorry for myself cos I'm not seeing Charlie on my birthday haha. So I thought 'grow up' and was like invite this girl I must meet her.
There is definitely something going on. Mum. Annah. Charlie. I can see it, I can sense it. But I am battling with myself sooo much! I ruin ALL my birthday surprises so I have been telling myself to stop trying to sussing it out. What I want to happen isn't going to happen so I need to stop psyching myself up.
So right now I'm feeling sorry for myself. Stupidly and childishly. Because I hate not having any control, I hate not knowing whats going on and being teased by lil laughs. hmmmmmmmmmmmmm.
I need to stop being such a brat and as all at Murley Road would say "MAN UP!"
God just read all that back and even I want to slap me. Here's an odd truth about uni. Its quite lonely at times. But sometimes not in a bad sense. I realised that when I was walking back from uni today.
When you walk out of college you are more often than not gonna be with someone and in a group, like everyone else around you is as well. But at uni the people walking back home are usually by themselves. Like me earlier. Odd.
Spose its all part of growing up.
I am going to miss being 18! I think its honestly like one of the best ages ever. Old to all the teenagers as you can now go out but when talking to adults and people in their 20's you often get the odd tilt of the head and an "aww" for being so young and fresh to adulthood. Me and Gemma had this revelation the other day and because of it she has come up with the best theme ever for her 19th! GRANNIES! should be a gooood night.
Loving my BAMMJ lot. starting to properly gel now.
Ok so this has been a ramble and a half but i've had a lot going through my mind and I probs wont have time for another blog until after my birthday.
Wish me luck I spose.
FINGERS CROSSED.
But the pessimist in me knows it wont happen.
So much more I wanna say but in reality its honestly just all bleh blah bleh blah bleh blah blah blaaahhhhh...
even more so than the above rubbish.
xxxxxx
(just realised the source of my erratic behaviour. being told that one of the biggets assignments for the year is no longer due in after xmas but in a matter of weeks. I hate law. I don't understand it. I am clearly going to fail.)
MY GHD's HAVE DIED!
After four years of amazing companionship my beloved straighteners can no longer tame my ridiculously curly hair. I hadn't realised how long I'd had them but I got them for my 15th birthday.
Thank god I asked for some new ones for my 19th. WHICH IS IN UNDER FIVE DAYS!
I'm quite excited for the next weeks or so. At 20 past 2 tomorrow I get on a train to Farnborough Station which I shall reach at 4 o clock to my mum giving me millions of hugs. She may squish me to death with them, I honestly wouldnt be surprised. If I survive her hugs I then have to survive those given by my dad then by my nan. Of course I love the idea of these hug as I havent seen them in ages, especially my nan who I havent seen in 2 months!!!!
I'm planning on my weekend involving family time and attempting to drive (again) to see people. Miss Sophie Clarke is booked in for friday night and then Sammie and Jess at some point, then few others if I have time, maybe Meckiffe but she's ill and I dont wanna be horrid on my birthday!!!
Saturday night should be lovely as me, mum, dad, mike and nan are going out to a GREEK Restaurant (my fave food) and having my birthday meal!! Brother has a new girlfriend who aparently he is head over heels for so she may be coming too. At first I was like NO I DONT WANT HER TO COME! but only cos I was feeling sorry for myself cos I'm not seeing Charlie on my birthday haha. So I thought 'grow up' and was like invite this girl I must meet her.
There is definitely something going on. Mum. Annah. Charlie. I can see it, I can sense it. But I am battling with myself sooo much! I ruin ALL my birthday surprises so I have been telling myself to stop trying to sussing it out. What I want to happen isn't going to happen so I need to stop psyching myself up.
So right now I'm feeling sorry for myself. Stupidly and childishly. Because I hate not having any control, I hate not knowing whats going on and being teased by lil laughs. hmmmmmmmmmmmmm.
I need to stop being such a brat and as all at Murley Road would say "MAN UP!"
God just read all that back and even I want to slap me. Here's an odd truth about uni. Its quite lonely at times. But sometimes not in a bad sense. I realised that when I was walking back from uni today.
When you walk out of college you are more often than not gonna be with someone and in a group, like everyone else around you is as well. But at uni the people walking back home are usually by themselves. Like me earlier. Odd.
Spose its all part of growing up.
I am going to miss being 18! I think its honestly like one of the best ages ever. Old to all the teenagers as you can now go out but when talking to adults and people in their 20's you often get the odd tilt of the head and an "aww" for being so young and fresh to adulthood. Me and Gemma had this revelation the other day and because of it she has come up with the best theme ever for her 19th! GRANNIES! should be a gooood night.
Loving my BAMMJ lot. starting to properly gel now.
Ok so this has been a ramble and a half but i've had a lot going through my mind and I probs wont have time for another blog until after my birthday.
Wish me luck I spose.
FINGERS CROSSED.
But the pessimist in me knows it wont happen.
So much more I wanna say but in reality its honestly just all bleh blah bleh blah bleh blah blah blaaahhhhh...
even more so than the above rubbish.
xxxxxx
(just realised the source of my erratic behaviour. being told that one of the biggets assignments for the year is no longer due in after xmas but in a matter of weeks. I hate law. I don't understand it. I am clearly going to fail.)
Monday, 1 November 2010
Monster Mash
HAPPY HALLOWEEEN!
Well ok to be fair it was yesterday but still hope you all had a good night. I spent mine in Southampton at my housemate's family partyy! Was funnnnn! I spent 49p on a net curtain from a charity shop and created my amazing Corpse Bride outfit. I was impressed with myself to say the very least!Also today is the first of November meaning many wonderful things.
- 8 days until my birthday!
- 4 days until I go home
- 53 days until xmas
- 45 days until xmas holidays and I finally see Charlie
- and of course one month <3 for me and Charles - i'm obviously not disrediting the other 4ish months we've been together but fb officials gotta count for something ;)
Had radio training at uni so hopefully I may be making an appearance on Nerve Radio and fingers crossed by next year will have my own show! Another cool thing is that quite often Phil Jupitus comes in a guest hosts a show! If I got to work with him that would be so amazing!!!!
Today at uni was long, in for half 8 to finish my assignment with Rosie then I had to walk home in the dark and was in by half 6. The 3 hour gap was hilarious and me, Rosie and Alex got up to our usual antics. We're not bitchy we're just overly critical and tell the truth ;)
But I'm now a bit down. I think I'm so clever sometimes. That I've worked something out and I get all excited over something that I would love to happen. I didnt work out anything. I am not clever. I was just blinding myself with something I wanted to happen. Its so silly really. Bad bad times. Ahh well, chin up I spose and move on.
xxxx
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